Feeling at home abroad is a personal experience, shaped by a combination of factors like one’s personality, cultural background, and social circumstances. Looking back, I realise how much feeling at home depends not just on where you live but on how you live in that space. The small routines, the human connections, the sense of ownership that grows over time.
In this blog, I’ll share some specific aspects of our journey and the insights I've gained along the way, highlighting some of the universal elements that can help anyone feel at home, no matter where they are in the world.
Our first home was in a Palazzo in the centro storico of Lecce. We were excited and happy that our search resulted in finding an authentic Salento historic place. The high ceilings, the sun colouring the beautiful stonewalls, the same walls you could feel whispering the layers of history. It all felt like a perfect step in our new Italian life. We felt proud, maybe a bit flattered also by the reactions of the people around us and Dutch family and friends on visit. We had found our place in Italy.
Have you ever moved into a place that looked perfect from the outside,
only to realise later it didn’t quite fit who you were?
Yet, as time passed, something began to shift. The grandness that had first impressed us started to feel distant. The beautiful garden, though magnificent, wasn’t ours to use. The humidity problem inside and above all the restrictions on making necessary adjustments to the apartment made it impossible to adapt the house to our needs and make it a home. It was a picture for Instagram, but the reality was different. It didn't feel like home.
From the outside it isn’t picture-perfect
but inside it feels authentic
Moving from Lecce to Cavallino was the moment our house truly started to feel like home. Cavallino is small in the best possible way. Everything we need is here, the panificeria, the macelleria, the caffetteria where people know each other, all woven into daily life. We live among local ´Cavallinesi´ and that changes everything. The rhythm is slower, more real. Our house reflects that too. From the outside it isn’t picture-perfect, but inside it feels authentic: original tile floors, high ceilings, light pouring in, and a large terrace that has become an extension of our living space. Little by little we’re making this house our home, not by changing it into something else, but by settling into what it already is. And that, for us, is an important part of what feeling grounded abroad really means
Home isn't a spot on a map, but an inner state of being. Especially as an expat, you discover that "feeling at home" is a multi-layered process, a subtle interplay between your character, your background, and the unpredictable dynamics of a new environment.
What was the moment for you when your house abroad finally felt like yours? I’d love to hear from you!
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