After leaving The Netherlands and now living in Salento, Puglia for almost five years, I have come to recognize something unexpected about long-term expat life, something that isn´t often talked about.
This isn’t my first experience living abroad. Before Italy, alongside long-term international projects, I was based in Jakarta, Indonesia on a professional assignment. That phase of expat life had a clear structure, purpose, and timeline. Work defined the rhythm. Logistics, and practicalities were handled by the company I represented, allowing me to focus fully on the assignment itself and on adapting to a new culture and working environment. Challenging enough.
´´¨I am not building a life from scratch anymore. I am living it.
That's where a new phase began, one that I didn't fully expect ¨
Moving to Italy was different. This transition was personal. There was no employer, no predefined endpoint, no external structure holding everything together. Like many expats, the early years were intens: navigating bureaucracy, building new relationships, learning the language, building routines, and slowly creating a sense of home.
And then, quietly, something shifted.
´I am not building a life from scratch anymore. I’m living it.´
There was no big event. No crisis. Just a gradual realization that life in Puglia
had become familiar. Grounded, Stable.
When everything feels settled, new questions arise
Once daily life no longer feels like a big challenge, priorities begin to change.
New questions surface, often unexpectedly:
Am I still on the right path, or simply following momentum
What does purpose look like beyond “settling in”?
How do I define growth now?
Which goals still matter and which ones no longer fit?
¨Because even in stability there is a need for renewal.
Sometimes that means stepping back to reflect¨
These questions aren´t always comfortable, especially when life on the surface seems “fine”. But they matter. Sometimes renewal means stepping back and reflecting. Other times it means taking new risks, pursuing different passions, or reconnecting with values that may have faded along the way.
Living in Italy, particularly in a place like Salento, offers space for this reflection. The slower rhythm, the seasons, the familiarity of daily life all create room for introspection. Yet that doesn´t make the process easier. Redefining a life you´ve already built can be just as complex as starting from scratch.
Whether you’re a professional expat on assignment, a long-term resident in Italy, someone living in Puglia for years, or a new expat at the beginning of your journey, this quiet shift may already be happening, or it may come one day.
And when it does, know that you´re not alone.
Can you relate to this experience of long-term epat life? I’d love to hear your story! Feel free to contact me…
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