Feeling at home abroad is a deeply personal experience. It´s shaped by who you are, where you come from, and the social and cultural context you step into. Looking back on our life in Italy, I´ve realised that feeling at home depends less on where you live and more on how you live in that place.
It grows through small routines, human connections, and a sense of ownership that develops slowly over time.
In this blog, I share parts of our journey as expats in Puglia, Italy, and the insights I've gained along the way, touching on universal elements that can help anyone feel at home, no matter where in the world they are.
Our first home in Italy: the dream
Our first home was in a Palazzo in the centro storico of Lecce. We were excited, genuinely happy to have found such an authentic historic place in Salento. The high ceilings, the warm sunlight colouring the beautiful stone walls, the feeling that those walls were quietly carrying layers of history.
It felt like the perfect beginning of our Italian life. We felt proud, perhaps even a little flattered by the reactions of locals and visiting family and friends from the Netherlands. We had found our place in Italy.
Have you ever moved into a place that looked perfect from the outside,
only to realise later it didn’t quite fit who you were?
When a beautiful house doesn´t feel like home
As time passed, something began to shift. The grandeur that had initially impressed us slowly started to feel distant. The beautiful garden, although magnificent, wasn’t really ours to use. Inside, humidity issues and strict limitations on making changes made it impossible to adapt the space to our needs.
It was a house that looked perfect, even instagram-worthy, but living in it felt different. Despite it´s beauty, it didn´t feel like home.
From the outside it isn’t picture-perfect
but inside it feels authentic
Moving from Lecce to Cavallino marked the moment our house truly began to feel like home. Cavallino is small in the best possible way. Everything we need is close: the panificeria, the macelleria, the local caffetteria where people know each other. Daily life feels woven together.
We live among local Cavallinesi, and that changes everything. The rhythm here is slower, more grounded, more real.
Our house reflects that too. From the outside it isn’t picture-perfect. But inside it feels authentic: original tiled floors, high ceilings, light streaming in, and a large terrace that has become an extension of our living space. Little by little, we´re making this house our home, not by transforming it into something else, but by settling into what it already is.
And that, for us, is an important part of feeling grounded abroad.
Home isn't a spot on a map, but an inner state of being. Especially as an expat, you come to understand that "feeling at home" is a layered process, a subtle interplay between your personality, your background, and the unpredictable dynamics of a new environment. It takes time, patience, and often a willingness to let go of expectations.
What was the moment when your home abroad truly started to feel like yours? I’d love to hear from you!
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